Fancy putting your daughter off her food? Then buy her Maggie Goes on a Diet, a children's book aimed – according to Barnes & Noble, one of the many booksellers on whose website it is currently listed – at six- to 12-year-olds.

It's not out until October, but so disquieting is the cover image that perhaps we may, in this case, allow ourselves to judge the book by it.

There are so many things wrong with this, I can't decide where to start the list.

But if you want to guarantee your child will have a lifetime of self-esteem issues, develop an eating disorder and/or drive for unattainable perfectionism, and probably spend his/her life on a therapist's couch, here's where to begin.